look at this girl.. damn her life

[[breakdown]]

2007-03-06T21:49:51Z

okay.. my house is basically breaking down no joke. my a/c and heater we cannot use. at some point on sunday night to monday monrning all of our power went out. and we don't know which breakers to switch to get my room and my mom's room working. so yeah our house basically sucks right now. and im honestly thinking about just spending the rest of the week at someone else's house so that i can just sleep without freezing my ass off. take a shower without freezing to death. and not worry if my alarm clock is not going to go off in the morning. this month has been kinda rough but i think its kinda cool at the same time because then i do things differently than i would. okay i think its neat. well school is going good i am really excited. and allssooo.. yesterday was my first day at gamecrazy. it was kinda boring compared to starbucks. i mean yes i do get bored at starbucks but i didn't think i could get this bored. i was really trying to do everything i could last night but the guy i was working with was telling me not to because we have to do all the stuff that was written down in the week and his quote "would be dumb to do it all in one day because no one else would have something to do" and all i was doing was dusting down things. and i would dust things he said he would already have down which didn't look too great. i dunno. i like starbucks waaay to much to leave. but i mean it just seems ick at gamecrazy i guess to me. because all j.j. and i do when we get to work is just clean and close down things. and there it felt like i couldn't clean too much. >.< oh well i know its going to get better. im actually trying to kill time before i have to go to work because most of the time i get there way to early and then i just stand around waiting bored. or just in the back and watch t.v. but yeah. i need to go buy some boots :( dun dun dunnnnnnnn. well i am going to go

magnolia state nationals

2007-02-28T22:04:30Z

well this month will be over and then a new one to come. this year has been going by so fast. and things change so quickly. thinking about graduation and leaving (possibly now) makes me think about the good times and the bad times horribly funny times. and the times i miss the most. but we wont all get into that. because some things may just be better left unsaid. other than i am truly sorry. and i do miss those times. but what happened exactly... *sigh* but that is how life goes i guess. i still pass by those things that kept us. but yeah. well....

my house has no air conditioning.. well we do have an a/c but i could turn pink in the night and die because of carbon monoxide.. :[ not too fun. so i've been living in some heat which doesn't bother me. until i start playing itg.. but i love it. work is work it will always be there. before my mom told me not to get a second job i put in an application at game crazy. i thought it would be fun. well i actually did get an interview and i also got a second interview with the district manager. that was kinda weird. well now they are doing a background check on me. so yeah. i think it would be kinda cool i guess. now i will have an extra amount of money around. woo.

jonathan and i are still great. it couldn't be any better. my manager is making the best of his store now and he's happy there.

rents are never going to change and when my dad comes back home i'll touch more base with that one.

but as for me. well i am here. but yeah.. jenn hasta change clothes and get to work. come by!!!

6:23 021107

2007-02-12T00:30:44Z

well. nothing new.. same old job at starbucks. same old boyfriends jonathan. same old school. trying to think of something new. well there is something kinda new. but i don't want to talk about it until thursday. until i know for sure. but yeah that will be something new and hopefully fun and bring in the cash flow. well my dad's been gone for over a month so i don't know what he's planning on doing right now. oh well i guess. starbucks is as fun as it has been. today was hella busy. and no one opened until i got there which was 10. which was major suckage. school is school. it has its fun days and the days that make me go why am i still at this stupid place. home is more like a house now. its not my home. its just a house. somewhere i just sleep. bathe. poop. and eat. nothing more to that. jonathan can never be the same its always something different and fun with him. he's a manager now too. my mr.magager. haha hrm. can't really think of any thing else. days now are going to be hard to hang out with people and see them. espically if i know anything more on thursday which i am hoping on. but. jenn is going to go. so that i can eat. and watch tv. oh yeah thats another thing i do at the house.

i find when i don't sleep i come here

2007-01-03T08:47:29Z

well there is like nothing on tv and it was making me mad because i had nothing to do for entertainment for the time that i am still up before i go to bed. sadly the game i looove to play is in real time and so most of my neighbors are asleeping right now. gay i know. anyways today snakes on a plane came out!! yay! if you didn't see it. you need to. believe me there is more to just snakes on a plane. there is an actual story behind it that most people didn't know until they saw the movie or just heard it from someone else. i was actually watching it today (go figure) and was looking at some of the other things and people would just get invited to premiers for movies just because they would get so popular from their blogs.. i thought that was pretty interesting. and if i found out about a movie before like everyone else and really wanted to go see it i would do that too.. maybe i should do it for kung fu panda.. yes believe it or not they are coming out with a movie about a kung fu panda. i can not wait. its going to be a-fucking-mazing! i am excited to go back to school because i can't wait to finish and go to college but i kinda really liked the time off. hopefully one of my teachers will stay out of my personal business. because i seriously will go talk to my consulor about it so quickly. blah. well i swear i've turned into an ebay freak. i saw so many panda things. they are so cute. jonathan's mom came back from germany and it was really cute because she brought me something back which made me feel special. she bought me a panda puppet. it was soo effing cute. she also brought it in the bag from the store and i had to check out the website it is so neat. she also bought me like a little hand purse i guess. like i can put my phone and keys and cell in it and prolly have a little bit more room. well it has a wrist strap. so i don't know what you would call it. speaking of wrist strap i am so sore from playing wii. i was playing wii sports. and i was boxing. yeah. i got so into that game that i hyperextended my elbow. yeah it was a bad night but it was still really fun. im thinking about watching some invader zim. there's nothing else on. but yeah if i don't get away from this comp. i know i'll just be back on ebay... oh yeah, did anyone hear about you can have 300 photos on myspace now because of the new promotion of that movie? jonathan was telling me but i wasn't paying to much attention because i was watching snakes on a mother fucking plane.. ah ha.. it cracks me up. well anyways. ya. back to tv

12/29/06 2:25 a.m.

2006-12-29T08:34:42Z

well here it is early in the morning and now they are playing music videos on mtv. woooptie doo. anyways well i actually bid (myself just me no one else) and won something on ebay. okay so maybe its an older model but hey i still like it. so i bid on a sidekick 2. but only reason why is because sk3 just had a mp3 and a better camera and something i rather not worry about. and it'll be like my old nokia that i miss dearly. but yeah blah blah i have a feeling someone is going to say something about me getting this sk2. but other than that today was a very lazy day for me i didn't get up till about 1:40 p.m. or so. i don't know why i was so tired but yeah i was just asleeping the day away. but i do have my alarm set for today so hopefully i should be up today about 10 or 11 i dunno i kinda want to do something today. i have had this panda fabric since i made this pillow about last year i guess maybe and i wanted to use it to make like a little zipper bag for my tote that i have. yeah since i got a sewing machine for christmas that i haven't used yet that i want to break in. so i need to go buy a zipper for it. and this will be the first time that i am going to be putting a zipper on. it doesn't seem too hard. but i have heard of people bitching about how it is a bitch. i think. maybe. other than that i don't really know what else i want to do. i did buy a whole bunch of yarn that i really want to knit up before we get back to school. or at least finish it all up by the begining of feb. i kinda am really excited about taking college classes. most likely i will take one in the summer, english. but i really wanted to pick up a second job as well but i am not sure if i will have enough time and all. i think i may but i just worry about it. i would just like to have some extra cash once in a while. my car is clean i am so excited. it reminds me of when i first got it and how much deep down i love my car. even tho its puke green i still love my blaire. my nose really hurts every time i rub it. oh well.. i really want some apple juice right now but all we have in the fridge is soy milk. and i am really not in the mood. but i really don't feel like sitting at my computer anymore so i think i'll just go lay down and possibly fall asleep.

king vs. lapd

2006-10-06T19:21:11Z

well i am at school and in criminal justice.. well not really beacuse we are in the computer lab in the library so it doesn't really count.. or does it? well today was really bad i was looking for one of my memorial shirts and i couldn't find any which made me sad cos today is spirit day at school and yeah i didn't show that much spirit with my soap shirt. so yeah. i am really hungry i want some food i didn't get to eat lunch which kinda sucks. jonathan was in the paper today no picture tho he was just mentioned with some comments. it seems like he's been getting mentioned a lot just for video games. dang well anyways nothing much more to write about and if there is so if i wanna talk about something else then i'll just make another post.. but yeah i go to work at 6 today till 10.. which is kinda odd. but oh well. and then im going to help out with dercorations. so yeah. but call me anyways if you want.

lies lies lies

2006-10-05T00:25:09Z

i hate him more than anything. and for one.. just once if i could just sit down and talk to him. and have a heart to heart convo. and just know exactly what goes down in his mind i feel like maybe.. just maybe i could get to know him. actually get to know him. but that day just never may come. and i'll always wonder. and never know that answer.

i said some things at the wrong time that didn't even come from me. and i honestly didn't think that they would get to you. and im sorry. it may just be the truth. but either way. im really sorry. i had no right for that. and im just hoping maybe. we'll talk.

i have nothing.
i feel worthless.
and i feel even worse than i did before.

oh yeah.. and dad... by any chance you see this.. fuck you... don't come home this time

hold the whip

2006-09-26T21:03:53Z

well i didn't get to school today till about err... 10:20 or something because i am sick and i wasn't feeling oh so well so i took some meds and fell back asleep to wake back up around 9 or so. so that i could get ready and clean out my car because i would have people in it during 4th block. anyways yes my car is clean. very much so all it has is my backpack and my ddr mat and beatmania and guitar hero thing and the pillow jonathan's sister gave me in the trunk. but yeah i'll prolly get it vacumed out soon so it'll look even nicer. and maybe even get a car wash. i need to put my snakes on a plane bumber sticker on my car. well anyways i had a pretty good day at school i guess even tho i felt like crap.i didn't go to practice today because i saw no point in it when the commander doesn't get there on time so blah. plus i dont think a female color guard is going to comp. and plus i work that day and most likely can't get off since i couldn't last saturday for PALS. plus that's also homecomming night and i told jonathan that him and i were going to all the school dances this year. but i dont think i really want to go to any of them except prom. lalala. okay. so my week has been okay.. i dont know my throat has been hurting a lot lately like im getting tonsilitis (beacuse i would usually get it around this time) but i dont have my tonsils anymore so that can't be possible unless they grew back which i dont think is happening either. but yeah. lets see i get paid on thursday/friday morning somewhere inbetween there. yay! im happy for that. i want to buy this thing on ebay. and i can't wait. since it's getting "cold" and what not it'll be great to wear. yay!!! i can't wait. hrm that's about it. i think i am going to go get a soy carmel macchiato or a soy chai latte. mmmm... but yeah. call me if you wanna do something i guess maybe...

loco roco fever

2006-09-09T04:59:44Z

okkay fair warning.. if i dont make sense in this post its because i am majorly tired. and i want to sleep.. and i keep mispelling stuff.. uhh. but i wanted to post for some reason can't remember. well the football game was okay.. i yelled i cheered. yeah yeah... and i left at the begining of the 4th quater... 1. because i didn't want to see the score of 21 (i am pretty sure or 22 something like that) to 0 no longer. 2. i didn't want to be in all the traffic cos it sucks. so yeah i had some fun. was sad that i didn't do the bleacher creators yet. i think lenora and i set out a plan so that during every game. the 4th quater we go with student council. yay! that means i can toga it up. woo! um anyways i picked up my copy of loco roco.. uhh can't remember what day. but yeah it is fun. way better than the demo. and yeah a blast i've actually haven't played it at home. nor with the sound because i would play it in one of my classes. i am really thirsty and i did have a water bottle but i think its in my car still not sure.. dont care i'll get a drink ou t of the fridge in a little bit. um. i work tomorrow from 12-6 i already told mark that i would go with him to get his ears pierced. cos we were supposed to do it today but i had to go to lenoras house before the game and yada yada he lost his wallet and yeah.so we are supposed to do that tomorrow. and then b-day party. wooo! yeah.. err.. whatever.juice. bed.. sometime now. oh friend is in town. might try to hang out with him for a little bit of time i dont know. so yeah... i dont know how that's gonna go.. all i know is i want a lot of sleep. very much so... and that's gonna happen just about now.

6 things that are most important to you

2006-09-06T11:03:36Z

ugh. don't you hate thinking about something that should be really easy to you? well i missed school yesterday cos i was and gross and icky. and slept for the whole day and last night i dont know. i feel a lot better today. really mad that i can't get into my email cos my dad put this stupid program on the computer and it blocks you outta of your email and other things its just wonderful. and i honestly can't think of 2 more things that are important to me. kinda sad i guess. well my dad went back to the philipeans after being home i wanna say 2 weeks? somewhere around there. and he's supposed to quit and what not. i dont think he should but my mom wont quit naggin on him so i told her about it last night. and i dont know she thinks i dont help her out. when i told her what was happening and when i got her proof and more than enuff proof. and it just makes me so mad and kinda sad that my mom would say that to me. yeah i dont know who to back up. because i dont think either are right in some cases. so i back them both up and just stand on the fence while things burn. and then i get happy when i can get away from that and just have fun. be it school work. or just hanging out with jonathan or someone. it just makes me forget. well anyways. i really need to think of 2 more things and then finish decorating my box. blah. work tonight woo! i can't wait. buts i gotta go.

kittens on a boat sequel to snakes on a plane

2006-08-18T05:35:06Z

hahaha saw the movie
it was awesome.
dont wanna say too much
but pretty good pretty good
someone actually screamed in the theatre
um.
none of the music played except the first song on the soundtrack which was during the credits. and something else. (kinda disappionted about all that music being on it)
erm.
we scared someone and that was funny.
jenn sleepy. been up since 5:30
good night

oh yeah
go see it!

after youtube posts.

2006-08-16T07:23:32Z

i thought i'd make one myself. and some of the things that people have said (mind you i've watched maybe a little around 15 or so since i got back on my computer after being woken up) is quite interesting. there was a 79 year old man who made a video post. which was weird cos i kinda wonder how and what he was doing on youtube. but oh well. well today was an okay day. i did not oh so many things as i somewhat planned to do. i did infact clean up the area around the computer. since my dad is comming home i had to throw away quite a bit of paper. that and also there is this horrible mess on the floor. im actually getting into the whole cleaning thing. i actually started cleaning my room. after i wanna saw 3 months or so its been like the way it was. and i am finally getting around to it. yes i am quite bad at cleaning. but hopefully this attempt will be okay. my mom came home and brought me some food which i did eat and enjoy. i played animal crossing for a while today. and i also found out that i can't remember numbers with months very well (7-july 8-august) yeah i put in the wrong date. and it totally messed up my game. just a bit. still made me a little mad tho. by this time i decided a shower would be good. so i take my shower. get dressed. fix my hair. do my make-up. and then leave for a bit. jonathan and i met up at target where he bought some things one including the snakes on a plane soundtrack which does come out on friday. but at cinemark its going to be showing a sneak view at 10:10 on thursday night. which is gonna be fun if you do go. but i really dont expect many people to see it. espically how well little man did. which was better than most of the other movies that released that weekend. anywho. as i am listening to the soundtrack in the car. i find out that most of the music on the soundtrack would in fact not be played with the movie. which made me think. well why? this i cannot answer. and if its true then i think they are trying to sell the cd to a certain "crowd" (or something) or maybe the movie. since the soundtrack is out now. people buy it. think that the friends that they have who like the music like it. and all go see the movie. hrm. im not trying to say anything bad about it. it just strikes me as odd for them to put these songs on a soundtrack and not in the movie. but oh well. the soundtrack was still good. and a couple bands i haven't heard of were alright. jonathan was fretting about work. which i think things will be fine. his 360 crapped out somehow and he had to cancel a whole bunch of reserves he made to get him another one. and his big man boss was looking into thinking that he does things like this often which he doesn't. but anyways. he didn't feel like doing anything. well i think i drove around a bit longer and did nothing. went home. played more animal crossing and thought. geez. i really need to pay off my house in the game. so i did that. fell asleep for a couple of hours. got up around 7:30-ish and left to go get some food and make 2 reserves at eb. saw cody,steph,and aaron, and another person but i do not know his name. but yeah they were pretty cool. this new dude at eb, brian (may have spelt his name wrong) is pretty cool. he's actually in karate. and he took from the first school i went to about the same time i was there. which i thought was kinda interesting because i was trying so hard to think if i knew him from there. but i couldn't bring up anything. maybe if i ask him more questions i may actually have a time and place where i remember. but i cannot type now i am making quite a bit of mistakes. and it is kinda early i guess. well i do go to work later at 3:00 who i am working with i cannot say because i honestly dont remember since i lost my scheduale. yay! so i just wonder. but hopefully we will be up and running today, because when i was in the store (now) yesterday it was still closed *tear* which in fact does suck. not saying that i dont like to be a cashier but i'd rather be making those drinks. it was very fun. and i had a blast even tho i was really scared that i was going to mess up on someones drink and they just hafta tell me about it. but it was good it was good. well also my "dad" should be comming home soon. my mom says on friday but i want to say it was the 21st. but i dont know. i usually never know until the day he actually arrives. what joy! my mom says that she's going to give him three choices and if he doesnt choose the first or second then we are going to court. and i just rather her go to court now and just have things settled so that she'll honestly stop talking about everything. its like since its ever happened that's all the talks about. and if you have ears. she might just start talking about it. and i know hey you can talk about it. but after 2 years you think you do something, or just let it be. and i mean i dont know. i try and push her and tell her to re-open her case but she wants to give him choices. and i mean if i was in her position i would have kicked his ass and told him bye felica. but as many times as i beg and plead her. she wont. she just wont. and i just really want her. i mean yeah its my dad and all and i still love him. but he's hurt not just my mom but he's hurt me too. i mean its really not something that you want to have. i mean if he was just straightfoward with some shit even tho i was little and may not have understood at that point. i mean i would have known then and didn't have to find things out now on my own. i mean last month i find out that he's been telling me lies since i was little. maybe 7 or 8. and i mean since then he still hasn't been truthful. and when i step back and look at things it makes me think well is everyone in my family hiding something from someone else. like everyone is lying from everyone else so that we can somewhat function? and also if someone divorces you in the dominican repulic is it legal in the united states? i mean the united states have the dominican republic under them. like we are their safety net. or something i dont really pay attention in history. but i mean if its legal. then i wonder why my dad still comes home. he's already married one lady in africa. and he's soon to be married to a lday in the philipeans. and also taken different women to hong kong. which makes me wonder. why does he still come home. but is this his home? or is it just one place he can rest from all the lies and bullshit he dishes out. i really dont understand him. or understand why. but sometimes i just want him to go away. but then again it feels like i can't be without him. i mean after so many years and stuff you'd think you can't leave a person. but it feels like he just doesn't care. like he can up and leave and forget he has a family back home. and forget that people do love him here. and just rather do other things with his life. wow. i honestly didn't expect to just start spilling out things. but i guess it just happens. still after writting this post it still hasn't made me sleepy. and it feels like there is just so more i can write about, well type. but i'd rather not have a very long post. cos honestly sometimes i dont like to read long posts right away. and after a little bit i actually get into it. but that's me. well im going to attempt to fall asleep again. and hopefully i wont get woken up

what does that mean

2006-08-14T03:11:57Z

ugh... i hated certifacation.. it sucked and i was just feeling really nervous. but yeah i got thru it and i am certified.. and i will be there on opening day. but i can't wait to serve my first drink. well this weekend was pretty great. got to do a lot of things that i was really happy with. i went to our star meeting and i am not the president and we were talking about a lot of this that we are going to be doin this year and till the next conference. ugh now i gotta think of topics and junk for us to acutally talk about in our meetings and plus actually hafta go over the material that we got from the conference great.. ha. but its okay. i also had to fill out my form for ylt cos star is going to be doing quite a bit with ylt. and i can't wait. i really want to go back to some conferences this year since i'll be 18 and all. today was fun i got to hang out with jonathan for a bit. had dinner at his house and it was soo good. but yeah. hrm. i really needed to say something but i cant remember what.. now this is going to make me mad. i think i may post again later.

omg imma call the cops and tell them disturbance of the peace cos its after midnight

2006-08-11T06:35:46Z

and i can fucking do that... i need to sleep and fucking redneck hicks are yelling and shouting about fucking nothing.. there is nothing to yell about in victoria.. and i want to go outside and just beat everyone the fuck out. and im seriously going to have a talk with his rents tomorrow.. omfg. anyways other than that today was pretty good i figured out who did put the bear on my car and it was matt... yeah i just didn't think he knew what my car looked like. so i guess when he got off work (he works at target too in the morning) he left it there. but its cool at least the mystery is solved. well i made a lot of drinks.. and i like making cold drinks better than hot. and if i am making a hot drink i like to make hot chocolate its fun and easy.. yay!! but its great. umm.. i should be getting certified soon.. like tomorrow.. or monday i think they said. but its gonna be cool.i think i work 7-3:30 on opening day. yeah that's right. omg we had an earl grey today.. which is the best black tea ever.. and i swear like no one liked it and i am so going to get one like every morning if i can. i lloooove it. uhh.. lets see i went to the hardback today and josh was there and he got in trouble for a little bit but we were talking he's soo awesome i <3 him!! tee hee.. i am really cold and tired. but people are pissing me off... but i have been downloading new music for my ipod. yayy toast. and and yes.. new step today. was really great. lalala.. i really need something... i just dont know what.. ha. that's great. anyways im going to try and find a way to shut them the eff up. which might just be strangling them. but oh well... yay

you want a what? a double venti americano

2006-08-10T17:45:14Z

welll barista training is going fun. in the last 2 days we've been making some drinks and wow its a blast espically with everyone im working with. i looove it. and i almost love it more than when i worked at chuck.e.cheese. but we'll see. anyways well today we are just going to be making drinks upon drinks upon drinks... and i can't wait. i did get to try this one thing i had it was an iced green tea lemonade thingy. i can't remember the whole name. but it was freaking good. but there is soo much to know. its crazy but fun. i really hope there isn't going to be ohhh so many people going to target just to go to starbucks on the first day that we open.. but then again most people dont know when we open cos its just a word of mouth thing that's going on. but we are opening on the monday the 14th. if any of you want to go. i work that day as well. but i can't remember my hours in my pack pack in my planner. but yeah i dont feel like getting it right now. hrm. lets see what else has been going on. oh jonathan and i have been planning something on the latest showing of snakes on a plane. and i dont know if jonathan is chickening out. cos of his mom. but yeah its gonna be funny if it goes on. but yeah i dont think tooo many people are going to be seeing it. since clerks 2 already left the theatre after TWO WEEKS because "no one saw the movie" you know what that means tho.. that more people in victoria went to see little man that weekend... ugh... tallageda nights was funnier than anything. one of the funniest movies i have seen. most of it was just like wow. im kinda hungry right now. hrm i am going to work at 2 today till 7 after that i think i am supposed to see what these two people are doing and maybe i'll join them. but i really dont know. omg someone left me an orange bear on my car... and i dont know who it is. matt (kat's bf) asked if i got the orange bear so im starting to think that he left it but im not for sure. but it just kinda freaked me out. cos i called jonathan thinking he did it. and he said no... and yeah.. i was like ahhh!! who the hell is leaving me stuff on my car... and 2nd if it was kat's bf... how'd he know that was my car. i dont think he's ever seen it.. hrm... the world will never know.... and i got a new blanket too.. its invader zim. jonathan gave it to me <3 he said he didn't need it anymore cos it didn't go with his new sheets and comfortor... its so warm. hehehe... uuuhhh.. well i am still hungry. so i guess i should shower and get my butt ready for work. yay!!... ummm.. i really dont know if i am off on the weekend till opening but i think i am. if anyone wants to do anything maybe we could do something. but imma see if we could do another houston trip. omg. i didn't say anything about that. but my mom and jonathan and myself went to houston on sunday and it was a blast. we went to first colony and just was looking at all the crap that we dont have in victoria. but yeah jonathan bought a steering wheel grip. i bought a hello kitty build-a-bear.. but her name is sakura ^.^ and she has a karate outfit and a red bow.. :D after that we went to eat a thai resturant.. and it was the best i loooove thai food.. so yeah im prolly gonna ask my mommie if we can go again that is if jonathan is off.. but yeah. i need to shower and eat... later!

one foot in front of the other

2006-08-02T05:45:28Z

well i am somewhat sleepy right now. its just lately my sleeping habits have been shot. it has never been this bad. not saying it is bad. but i didn't go to bed till almost 7 in the am and woke up at around 9 thirty. and this isn't really good for me. but the whole day i haven't felt tired. not even a bit. but now i am kinda tired. but mostly thirsty. i have been drinking a lot of kool-aid lately. cherry to be exact. i honestly feel bad right now. i just feel like two people just are getting kinda mad at me. well not mad.. maybe upset. but i dont know. i just kinda feel horrible about that. im not trying to forget. its just that i do and i dont mean too. geez i really need to get some sleep. i mean usually on my off days i sleep till about almost 2 in the afternoon. after going to bed at i dont know what time. i guess im trying to play catch-up but its not working. i have my car back. its nice. and i really need to clean out my room. i forgot that i left some food in the computer room. and yesterday i was like doode it smells really bad in here. and today i just figured out. when it was less than an arm length away. i left some chinese food in here on sunday. i know its gross.. but i honestly just forgot that it was there. and yeah it wasn't very pretty. no wonder i have been feeling all icky. i really want to go get some kool-aid but i dont feel like getting up. i need to charge my i-pod. its almost practically dead. i can't wait till september loco roco! woo. man. i feel like i have a lot of things planned out. but i dont know what im going to do. i really dont know how this year is gonna end up to be. but i already know its going to suck horribly. but yeah i really gotta get something to drink.

dear glowing orb,

2006-08-01T07:39:47Z

jenn... sleep?? never. not anymore. well lately things have been okay. i guess. i think. maybe im not sure. well i think they have. work is good. but i feel like i have been not getting oh so many hours. but i hope that will change when starbucks opens. *crosses fingers* boyfriend is good. doing little things for me. which is good. friends are being pretty good right now. its just that i dont know i dont feel like me? i dont know if that makes sense. i like who i am. and i like who i hang out with. but sometimes it doesn't feel like me. there. with the people. lately i have found myself in deep thought about things i thought that would never phase me. and i just kinda go "huh?" to it all. but i dont know. just thoughts and nothing more. today i slept till really really late. and did a whole bunch of junk. it sometimes feels like i dont know anymore. but i do feel phased. and my nose is twitching right now and it feels really weird. that has never happened before. senior photos later today.. i dont know what i should wear.. what i should bring. if i am supposed to bring anything. i know that i will most likely be calling someone later today to find out what they are doing for that. maybe i can't sleep cos i had this sobe drink.. it had to do with superman and i thought it would be neat. i dont know i only drank a bit of it. i just wasn't in the mood when i was drinking it earlier. i think i may have found a new passion. i want to go to work. work is fun. i found out that H-E-B doesn't close till one in the morning. i didn't know that. but now i do. that's pretty neat. i thought they like closed waaay earlier than that. i finally got my car back. after its repainting. i feel like cleaning it out now. and just making it look nice. i love my car its awesome. i cant find something that i need. and i feel torn. i have a new layout on myspace. its promoting snakes on a plane. i guess im kinda whore-ing myself to it. i'd rather whore myself to clerks 2 cos that movie was really awesome. and i dont know how much i'll like snakes on a plane. but i do like my profile song on myspace. yeah and its gonna stay there for a while. video games sound like fun right now. but i think my leg might be asleeping. shhhh! you dont want to wake it. maybe i should take it to bed. night night

dammit.

2006-07-28T16:11:42Z

i think someone hacked my myspace and deleted my page... but i am not sure.... geez.. comment me if its not there please?

wow

2006-07-25T07:34:29Z

in the last couple of days i have learned a lot. so much my mind is still spinning from the words, sentences, and phases that this person has said to me. and this is something that will never leave my thoughts my mind and my hope. it crazy. *sigh* but that was just one happy thing.

a lot of crap has been going on my myself and my mom and my "dad" and i honestly dont know what its going to be like from now till my birthday.. and espically my birthday and even after my birthday. and i know i will be going thru a lot. just thought i'd let everyone know. i dont know how much i'll be able to do with anyone. since some things happened. i feel like i am sometimes imprissioned by my computer. and honestly the last couple weeks have made me never want to sit at my comp for more than 20 mins. i just can't stand it. i am confused by it all i dont just see why it happens.. and it honestly makes me cry. and i dont cry about much. and anyone who truely knows me knows i wont shed a tear. but this just makes me fucking sick to my stomach.

i had a bad dream. it was horrible. i dont know why. it was just really bad and i've been having them the last couple of days.. but i have barely slept either. its just it feels like i am battling with myself. i really dont know what i want. what i want to do. i am honestly confused. about everything. anything. i dont know. i feel like im not making sense either. i've had about maybe 6 or 7 hours of sleep for the last couple of days. i wanna say maybe 4.. but i dont know.

on a lighter note.. i just witnessed the most interesting and weirdest stuff i have ever seen. and boy that was an eye opener.

new game that i want to buy for my psp.. i think i may be getting tekken: dark resolution (i think thats what it is.. not sure right now) later on. i was gonna get it when it came out since i reserved it but thought not to. but i want to get locoroco. i've downloaded the demo and it is so much effing fun. weird. but fun. you get that effing song stuck in your head tho. i sooo beat jonathans score too cos i found hidden shit. hahahahaha....

also on a yellow page i am going to fiesta texas on thursday. but yeah. i dont know most of the people that's going so i think its going to be weird. but yeah. right now i kinda feel like i dont want to go. but i do. but i dont. err.. i want to make a bonfire in my backyard right now. im kinda cold. and i'd wanna throw marshmellows into the fire.

my mom just seems really different lately. its not like her and i get along now or anything. but lately she's just been weird. like really different something i've never seen before in either of my rents. its just amazing how you grow up with people and you think you know them. and you just dont... because all they do is live one fucking lie. ahhh!! *&#^@&*@#$()*)@

but i am quite ready for school to start. i just want to get it over with. but i want to live in the experience. i want this to be something i wanna talk about. i dont want to be .. "yeah i went to school. it was grand.. yay.." i want it to be something more than that. but i honestly feel like it wont since its just memorial. yay! go vipers... bah.

also! i think i found my picture of a panda that i want as my tat. but im not sure yet. like i know what i want. and i just want someone to draw it. but its okay if i cant get it drawn maybe i'll find some stranger to do it. and make it look awesome. i really dont know what i am saying right now. but i'd really like to watch two stupid dogs. but then if i do i know i'll want some corn. but i'd rather have some peaches right now. well not peacheS.. maybe one peach. mmm... i hate canned peaches i dont know why but i dont like the way they taste. i really want to go to a build-a-bear tho and get a new teddy... or maybe at least order one at buildabear.com. but i dont know. i am getting annoyed sitting at my comp now. so i am going to go play my demo of loco roco cos if you do certain stuff you can get things online if you are part of G.A.P. and i dont mean the clothing store.

happy birthday momma

2006-07-22T06:01:45Z

Well today is my mommas birthday and I went out and got her perfume and it was supposed to be lotion but the lady gave me body wash instead &%#$@. but yeah imma let her return it and what not. Nut yeah she likes it a lot. I think it smells really good. umm.. im offically fed up with the person I used to call "dad" and I really just don't want him to come home, or see him when he is home. Basically just stay away from him as much as I can. Today was actually a good day I guess. After Jonathan had his docotor appt. we went to the movies to watch Clerks II and it was AWESOME! I honestly want to go see it again. It was really good. tee hee hee. Then after that we grabbed some food at the mall and we ended up eating at the chinese place, and it was horrible. Jonathan and I barely ate anything we ordered it was so gross. He went to work, I went to go pick up my check and deposit it. Went home changed into Target wear. Went to the mall walked around a bit to look for something to get my mom. Bought it. Walked around for a bit more to see if I wanted to get anything. Left the mall. Went to Target to get stuff to put her present in. Worked for a bit. Had a ton of fun, but it seemed really slow today but it was all good. Had some of Kelly's cheese, and she had some of my cheez-it's and she said that she was feeling cheesy. :D hrm. Saw Joel and Chels. Worked had fun. Left went to Walmart to get a card for Jonathan and me for his sister because her birthday is Monday. Oh! I am the new owner of a Slush Puppie tin lunch box and I love it tons! It's awesome. I just wish we still had our Slush Puppie in town. Espically the one that was by my house. Well. I know that later today I am going to take my mom out to eat at Johnny Carinos. Watch Mark get his lip done while I am going to be totally jealous, and maybe some other stuff. But I seriously hafta go to the bathroom. So yeah, I'll talk to you peoples later!

hrm i have been thinking a lot lately

2006-07-16T06:52:23Z

and found out a some things. that still haunt me. but its okay.. i am supposed to be going to church at 9 in the morning. and i can't sleep. my mind is just bouncing from one subject to another. and it makes me feel like i am going crazy. and then i feel rage.. and then hate.. and then im just mad. then i become happy. and i dont know.. maybe i am having an over load? no i dont think so. i dont know... err.. church. work. then food with jonathan. what else i have no idea.. but yeah.

mark... i do really want to hang out with you. and im sorry about the calls and text.. hopefully we'll hang out like before.

liz. i hope things are going okay with you with all the i have read on your blogs on myspace and how i've heard from you. i hope that you do really well at yad. and i do miss you. we need to have an allnighter before school starts with easy cheese.. and maybe something else other than jellybeans. and some really funny movie with a lot of hot guys and junk.

joel. work with you is fun. and i can't believe you popped that ball how dare you.

ish. i haven't heard from you in a while. but you left me a message on myspace saying that you dont like me. and i dont know why. but maybe i could find out. and we could hang out sometime.

madeline. i miss you soo much i swear i haven't seen you since summer started. geez. i really need to walk to your house when day when you are home!

kelly. tee hee hee even tho you want my bag you can't have it but next time i know that i am going to houston you so have to come with me so i can show you that bag cos they had one that looks like mine in a messenger type bag thing. well next time if you dont have a ride when your car runs outta gas.. you know who to call.

kenny. i miss you! and i hope things are going well for you in austin and that you are been safe. :)

sean. i miss you like a fat kid loves cake.. and i sure love cake. but anyways i hope that you're having fun!!! :)

i guess that's all for now. im still not tired. and i feel really thirsty.. and i just remembered i missed reno 911! %@#& err.. its okay.. i'll just ask jonathan about it. or maybe i can catch it sometime later. but i guess i'll rot in front of the tv while i lay and most likely fall asleep for a while. good nite to all.

jmm <3 jrl

star conference

2006-06-25T23:38:12Z

well i learned much about this weekend. mostly about sexual harrassment and abuse and things that have to do with the subject. and something that was very odd was that i kinda had a bad feeling come over me. one of the girls there was assualted at her school and she started crying and then i told her how i was stalked for a couple years and when i started telling her the story i found out that i wasn't quite over it as much as i thought i was. i mean i still get uncomfortable at times. and its kinda odd. cos i can't stop it. and it just makes me feel odd. and i talked about it to one of the people at the conference and she told me a lot of places that should help me out. but i dont need help its just that somethings are "triggers" that get me uncomfortable. and it happened once at work at i completely shut down. i didn't want to do a thing. and i couldn't control it. but this is just something i need to face head on. and its just something i sometimes dont talk about. but at times i still feel scared. and i feel so stupid.. so dumb and not in control of myself and it makes me feel helpless. and i hate that feeling. i honestly hate it. i can not stand it when i feel this way. err... no more on this subject

well the conference overall went well. i loved it. every minute of it. something crazy and wild was going on. when we first got there we checked in and all and i signed up for star idol and it was something i have done before for camp so i thought this would just be something fun and something to do while i was there. and my roomate, michelle and i went up to our room and unpacked locked the door and went downstairs to do stuff. well we listened to some stories about survivors of rape or sexual abuse. and it really amazed me to hear someone stand up in front of everyone and tell a story when they were completely helpless. wow.. we had dinner and then we had star idol and i did karate. duh. and yeah it was fun.okay. then michelle and i go back to our room and we can't get in. we try both our keys and it doesn't work and we didn't know what to do. so we wait and wait and wait. and 9 pm finally rolls around when the people that would be downstairs if you needed help would be there. so we told the lady what was going on and she tried our keys and they didn't work so she had to use the master key to let us in and call the locksmith to get the right keys and it took forever on that. and i didn't get to bed until 11:30 and i was tired. next morning we have breakfast everyone is asking if i am the karate girl and what not. well we have workshops that we went to that i learned stuff that i can use to help people and what not. and yeah all i was excited for was for the 80's dance that they had later that nite and this is saturday i am talking about now. well anyways here's what i dressed in and i will have pictures later. well i had a blondie shirt that i cut the neck part out so that it was off on one shoulder. and jean skirt with leapord print and green mesh-y stuff red fishnet hose converse and my hair in a mohawk. yes a mohawk it was sooo hot!!!! well anyways i didn't win the contest for best dressed and i dont know why i didn't. really. but i do. there was a big group there that voted on one person there. so it sucked but it was okay. i'll get them next year. err.. and then sunday we had some more workshops and a banquet. which was all fun. but sad at the same time i was really glad that i was going to be comming home. i really miss everyone. and liz and i need to hang out. like tomorrow. cos yeah i need to talk to her and i wanna ask her all about subenville. so yeah. but said he'd be busy studing all till tuesday and i wasn't going to be able to see him till then but he said since i did ask him to dinner that i could maybe bring him some food. but yeah anyways. i have a headache. and im bored. so i'll post something later..

this is a story of a girl

2006-06-21T04:03:55Z

who cried a river and drowned the whole world..
tee hee.
anyways well i am now at my comp listening to sex and candy by marcy playground great song. well yesterday was fun. after work i came home did some stuff and played some ac:ww and then went to the mall and found liz, kelly, joel, and curtis. and then we walked to get some food. went to tilt watched everyone play a game of ddr. yupyup. and then people slowly left. and liz and i went to kenny's house and there was me ash heather liz sean ish kenny of course and rolando and some of us played beatmania and kenny got mad cos i told him that i took madeline's beatmania virginity. but ish swears up and down that she played a game. well anywas. then i went home and played some more ac:ww (now the song is bitches by msi) and eventually fell asleep. woke up at about 9;45 called mi amor and got ready for work. worked till 2 and had some fun while i was there. went to the mall to hang out with jonathan for a bit. *thinks...* and i walked around with him for a bit and ran into people as in valeria (sp) cody josh johnny step and some other people i think. and then jonathan left the mall around 4ish and i picked up liz and took her to the mall cos victoria secret is having thier semi annual sale and i got fitted for bras cos i wasn't really oh so sure what size i wear. >.< but now i know. and so yeah bought new bras ^-^ but no undies i prolly will later (clarissa by msi) hmm... then i got my nails done. with black tips.. woo! and i love them. then liz and i left and went to kennys. and when we got there sean and ish were sleeping and it was cute. but sean woke up and told me that he was having a weird dream and said he started hearing voices and that's when liz and i walked in. so i thought that was cute. and then we played beatmanina. johnny ray came by. an then we had some pizza and we were going to play twister but we didn't get around to it. but i also had to leave early (faggot by msi) im not typing slow by the way the last song was only a minute and 43 seconds long so yeah. anyways so now i am here and still playing ac:ww and just having some fun. and i thought i'd just blog. i need to start packing tho because i am going to be leaving for my conference in san marcos on friday so yeah. i'll be gone the whole weekend but im really happy that im going to this conference because mrs hiller wants me to teach her stuff when i get back from the conference. so yeah. its gonna be a blast there is also an 80's dance and i can't wait i actually have an outfit that i think fits the dance (masterbates by msi) *vibrating pants* marks calling. and i answered. i miss him. but yeah i think imma end this post. cos i dont think i have anything else i wanna blog about and if i do i will just edit. tee hee

he calls me his muffin

2006-06-18T01:28:37Z

and he's there to save the day.
well im not oh so well i have bronchitios or how ever you spell it and i have to take this icky liquid every 4 hours which makes me dizzy and sleepy... how fun is that? well yeah but other than that things have been okay. i have been playing a lot of animal crossing and its fun playing with john. its sooo much fun i loove that game now. but i found out that everytime i get a new game i will play it and play it and play it. until i get a new game. honestly. when i got brain age. i played that everyday straight for a month and half i know cos it tells me. and then i got super mario brothers and i played that when it came out until a little after my trip to florida cos then i bought big brain academy. and i only played that until i got my new ds lite and then i bought animal crossing that day. so geez... i need to play them all. they are oh so much fun. i have also neglected bomberman. one of my favorite games since i was younger. awww... poor bomberman. well anyways. i want to play animal crossing but when i was playing earlier it was raining. :( and i really like playing with someone cos its fun. but yeah. anyways i think its time for me to take my meds again. what joy. hopefully if i fall asleep i wont sleep for so long

err.. no sleep for jenn right now

2006-05-30T06:47:52Z

well yeah i took a little nap cos i was full around 6 or so. and yeah i can't sleep. so whats better than to post on lj? yeah well i can prolly think of some things but its prolly things i can't go do right now. well i'd actually like some breakfast at the moment. but i think i can hold out till morning. supposedly there is driver's ed whatever thing at the mall at 5-2 today and im supposed to be going with my dad. i really dont want to but he wants to lower the insurance. so yeah. i get to be bored for less cash. yay? i most likely be doing other things at the time that this is going on if i can get away with it. hrm. lets see im leaving wed. and i wont be back till the 6. yay i guess. it'll be fun i know it. lalaa i want my tattoo already its gonna be hot. ahh! i can't wait. lalalala. im really trying hard to think of something to type cos i never update. sometimes i wonder why i really keep this up. i mean i can read everyone's blogs still even if i didn't have this. but i guess i can keep it up till i get really tired of it. i still want my ice-cream that i wanted earlier when it was hardcore raining. yeah it was raining preetty bad if you didn't know. my streets were flooded like this kids maybe a little taller than me were walking around in the street and it was like waist high water. and i was freaking out in my car cos i thought i'd get stuck like my momma did when i was younger. anyways i had to move my dad's car and the water was already covering the tires. so i thought i dont wanna get too wet. so i'll get on the trunk and climb over. yeah that didnt work i ended up slipping and i scraped my knee against the bumper. my shoes and up to my knees were soaked. i was sad. and then i had to take the car a couple houses down and run back. mann. it sucked. but last time water got in the car somehow it was weird and it smelled really bad. well yeah im thinking about playing my ds or the ps2 or something. lalala
bye